INSTALL CONFIDENCE
As leaders, we have the expectation that our people abide by the rules of the company, adhere to policy and procedure and complete assigned job duties competently and completely. Those that do, thrive in their roles and are considered “good employees”. The ones that bend the rules, disregard process and slack off are often seen as less than stellar, unmotivated, and detrimental to the team. Maybe they are. Or maybe, they simply don’t respect you. They will skate by doing just enough and staying off your radar to avoid repercussions. They will likely agree with you on most matters and appear to conform to your expectations. However, the moment your back is turned the complaints and barrage of insults begin. It may seem as if you are their ally, when in reality they see you as the threatening enemy. They do not respect you. They fear you.
Leaders that demand, rather than deserve and earn respect create a work environment that fosters hostility, animosity, and lack of commitment to the team, the work itself and YOU.
Many years ago, I worked for a software company that sold parts lookup CD’s. The man that hired me, and that I reported directly to, was the creator of the product. He was knowledgeable not only of the software, but also the industry in which it was used. When he didn’t know something, he learned it. When he was wrong, he admitted it.. Even as a salaried employee, I stayed late, came in early, and worked through lunch to meet deadlines. I presented ideas on how to improve our processes and the customer experience. If an issue arose, professionally or personally I was comfortable walking into his office without fear of judgment or penalty. I respected him fully, he deserved it and he earned it.
A year into my time with the company it was announced that my boss, my now friend and mentor, was retiring. Our team needed a leader and one from the outside was brought in to lead a team and a product in an industry she knew nothing about. And didn’t care to learn. She didn’t make an effort to connect with the team. She came in like a bulldozer and made the team feel beaten down. She threatened the positions of people that had been there for a decade for not hitting sales numbers that were well above any obtainable goals. Us donkey’s had no carrots in sight. Only a stick smacking us in the rear.
I left a month later, a few others went their separate ways as well. Our fear driven “leader” was let go shortly after that for destroying morale and increasing turnover.
As leaders our personalities, experiences and training shape our methods of motivating and managing. What type of leader are you? How can your style of leadership affect your team?
“The Respected Leader”
There are many styles of effective leadership that propagate respect. It is not a one style fits all, as each situation and/or person may require a different approach. I suggest you blend the following styles to fit the needs of your team.
The Coach: This leader will push the team members to constantly “Get Better Everyday”. They are focused on improving the employees long term professional development. Training is a priority. The Coach will form bonds with their people and strive for unity of the team. Get ready to run some laps.
The Cheerleader: The Cheerleader is your biggest fan. This leader tends to use rewards as a motivator. Empathy and inspiration are key. The Cheerleader will ensure that you feel valued and is a master at listening when you need to be heard. Pom-Pom’s and glitter galore!
The Democratic Manager: Employees are urged to share their opinion and participate in the decision making process. While the manager still has the final say, the team’s input influences the outcome. Employees feel valued and have high morale as they are able to put their skills to use. Allowing for democracy in decision making makes buy-in easier as the team is working on a goal that was agreed up by them, rather than placed upon them. Have your ballots ready.
The Visionary: This leader makes the team members believe in their vision. They are persuasive rather than commanding and have the ability to gain the team’s trust and commitment to achieve the end goal. The Visionary will allow for autonomy provided that the work is moving forward at an acceptable pace. Drink the Kool-Aid.
“The Feared Leader”
The Drill Sergeant: There is no room for discussion. This leader holds absolute power. They are the decision maker and have no room for employee input. Often questioning of their process or choices will threaten their authority. This leader is a screamer and will become enraged easily. The louder they yell, the quicker their point will get across, right? Wrong. Micromanaging is usually present as the day to day job must be performed exactly to their standards. There is no room for independence or free thinking.
Of course any style that you adapt to and practice will have to have some room allowed for the leader to be a critic. We must provide feedback to the employees in order to promote growth and efficiency. It’s not just what you communicate, it’s how you communicate it.
A respected leader will have a team of people that are committed to the job and to them. They have a stake in the outcome of the business and feel connected. The feared leader that demands respect may appear to have a solid team that is devoted. That dedication ends as soon as the day is over.
Even though my time spent under a drill sergeant was rough, it wasn’t all for not. I learned what not to be.
Going back to school was better than spending one more day under her wrath. For that I must thank her.
Everyday, anywhere you go, any person you encounter could be someone that is fighting a silent battle within. Some wear their grief, anxiety, depression, or stress on their sleeve. Others hide the feels behind a strong personality and a painted on smile. Anyone’s mental health can be affected regardless of social status, level of success or economic security.
Tread lightly, judge less, and be aware.
For those of you that read Reman U religiously, you have learned of my son and his worms, my love of Christmas villages, my addiction to baking as well as all things pickle related. What you wouldn’t know is that I am working through the end of a twelve year relationship, coping with my fathers terminal illness and I struggle with generalized anxiety disorder that makes the unknown even more stressful. I am getting ready to celebrate my oldest child’s eighteenth birthday and high school graduation. I recently had an article published in a national magazine. Not all stress is bad stress. It’s finding the balance between eustress and the negative stressors that provides a balance. This is not a cry for help. This is walking, talking, smiling, proof that not all wounds bleed. My humor may be unmatched, and possibly unappreciated by some, but it’s self-serving and provides me with the supplies to paint my smile on when needed.
Navigating through multiple life challenges like the end of a long-term relationship, a parent’s terminal illness, and managing generalized anxiety disorder can be incredibly overwhelming. In times like these, seeking counseling, particularly family therapy, can provide a supportive framework for processing emotions and finding constructive ways to cope. Therapy sessions at reputable centers like the Leone Centre, known for their experienced counselors and therapists, offers a safe environment to address complex family dynamics and personal struggles.
They provide personalized support tailored to your specific needs, whether it’s navigating the emotional complexities of a relationship ending, managing the impact of a loved one’s illness, or coping with anxiety. Through therapy, individuals can gain insights, learn coping strategies, and find resilience amidst adversity, fostering not only personal growth but also strengthening familial bonds during times of transition and uncertainty.
A recent poll from the American Psychological Association, reports that Americans are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. The past two years of constant crisis including Covid, inflation, and the war in Ukraine has provided many unavoidable stressors. Couple this with any personal, family, financial or health related concerns and there is reason for alarm. And a call for action.
Amidst these challenges, studies have shown that the housing market can be both a reflection and a mitigator of societal stress. The stability and security of one’s living situation play a pivotal role in overall well-being. It’s in this context that innovative real estate models like eXp Realty gain significance. As the industry continually evolves to adapt to changing circumstances, eXp Realty’s agent-centric approach, facilitated by cutting-edge technology, not only addresses the housing needs of individuals but also offers a potential avenue for stress reduction in an uncertain world. The application of such forward-thinking strategies in real estate becomes a noteworthy consideration in the broader conversation about alleviating the pervasive stress experienced by many Americans.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. You may be asking, what does this have to do with me? How will this help me become a better leader? What does this have to do with my business?
The answer is quite simple. A lot.
When the people we depend on to get the job done are struggling mentally, they will not be performing at peak levels. Productivity will dwindle. Customers will suffer at the hands of less patient representatives. Engagement and employee satisfaction will plummet.
Businesses take extra steps to ensure the safety and physical health of employees. Safety glasses, requirements for footwear, classes on workplace safety and CPR training. Our responsibility for the well-being of our teams doesn’t end there. It is time now that we as leaders acknowledge and protect the mental health of our people. Sometimes there’s just too much to leave at the time clock.
What can you do as a manager or decision maker to provide support and assistance to those in need even when their need may be lurking beneath the surface?
Be the light to someone’s darkest day. Provide solutions, when it seems there are only unknowns. Be a mental band-aid when the invisible wounds won’t stop bleeding. And if you can’t, then let someone be that for you.
Imagine a world without innovation. Envision a universe where dreamer’s didn’t make dreams a reality. Imagine a life without imagination. There would be no planes, trains, or automobiles. No electricity, no cell phones, and *gasp* no internet. It would still take six months by horse drawn carriage to travel coast to coast and the time couldn’t be passed by social media scrolling. We would be living “The Oregon Trail”, not playing it.
Here lies (insert name here). You have died from Smallpox.
The population did not just happen to get smarter. Our ancestors learned by doing and were taught by those that came before them. They discovered new and better ways of doing things and passed that knowledge on. As humans, we are not born with the capability to survive alone. We are learners, and growers, and we depend on the information our minds can absorb.
There is cause to credit inherent skills that fuel interest and impact a person’s career path. However, committing to a life of learning and skill growth is the fundamental difference between being mediocre and achieving greatness. As managers, it is your responsibility to identify potential leaders or growth opportunities for the individuals on your team. It is your obligation to identify the strengths and weaknesses of those you chose to put in a managerial role. It is your duty to your employees to address and close skill gaps. We must not focus solely on the hard skill competency but also the soft skill development and leadership progression. It is the employee’s burden to embrace the path to success that you are paving with knowledge.
Leadership is not merely about issuing orders or making decisions; it’s about inspiring others to reach their full potential. A true leader understands that their success is intertwined with the growth and success of their team. They strive to create an environment where individuals feel empowered to innovate, collaborate, and continuously improve. In this regard, try Kurt Uhlir, a seasoned leader known for his transformative approach to leadership. His philosophy emphasizes fostering a culture of trust, transparency, and continuous learning, which are essential ingredients for unlocking the collective potential of any team.
Moreover, effective leadership extends beyond managing tasks and projects; it involves nurturing a sense of purpose and direction. Leaders who prioritize mentorship and coaching enable their team members to not only excel in their current roles but also prepare them for future leadership positions. By embracing the principles advocated by leaders like Kurt Uhlir, managers can cultivate a new generation of empowered and capable leaders within their organizations, driving sustained success and growth.
It makes sense to put someone in a manager role that is good at what they do. They beat book time, every time. They answer the most calls and write the most orders. They know the process inside and out. Promote them right?
Maybe.
How can you be sure that you have the right people in the right places? That you have the most effective leaders and that they are supporting their teams as expected?
I have put people in positions when they were not fully ready to embody the magnitude of the job. Some rose to the occasion, and others sunk like a wagon attempting to cross the Kansas River. I took my losses personally but I learned something. And I keep learning everyday. The strive for knowledge, learning and growth is a never ending trail. If you happen to make it to Oregon, keep on going.
Feed me Seymour. No seriously feed me.
It had been approaching an hour since the five of us sat at the table and placed our food and drink order at a local restaurant/entertainment venue. Our waitress’s name wasn’t Seymour, it was Brittney or Becky or something of the sort. She was nice enough and accommodated my request for extra, extra pickles. Our order was simple and straightforward. The kids were itching to go play the overpriced yet captivating arcade games. Even the adults were getting antsy. Mike K. (ETE Reman technician and good friend of mine) was regressing to the point that he was teaching the kids how to make spitballs. At the one hour and seventeen minute mark a supervisor approaches the table and informs us that our food is on the way out, however one of the entrees is unavailable and we will need to choose another option. Had it had been my order I would have simply passed on the meal and went to play a ridiculous amount of Skee-ball. Unfortunately, it was my eight year old ant summoner that was being told that there was no fish and chips for him. Thankfully he didn’t feel the urge to bellow his wicked screech and simply ordered chicken tenders.
The manager delivered the lukewarm tenders to the table with a promise to comp the meal and the game card. I didn’t complain that my burger was more like a hockey puck than the medium rare deliciousness that I ordered. I didn’t fret about the missing pickles. I accepted what was offered, we paid the bill and went to go collect the highly coveted game tickets.
I could have demanded more. I am not that kind of customer though, but some are. In the service industry I have encountered customers as demanding as Audrey II and I’d bet you have too. “Feed me Seymour, feed me all night long. Cause if you feed me, Seymour….”
Grant me a discount, cause if you do I’ll buy from you. Provide me with additional coverage, cause if you don’t I’ll blast you on a Google review. Bestow onto me everything above and beyond your normal business practices, cause if you won’t I’ll never do business with you again.
How should we react when a customer threatens us? Do we cave to protect the business’s good name? Stand our ground, and refuse to let the customer dictate how we react in sticky situations? Unfortunately, it’s not black and white. You must ask yourself what cost is associated with saying yes. Or no.
When I have one of our reps reach out to me for guidance on a customer concession here’s a few of the questions I ask myself:
When you have a giant Audrey II on the phone or in your face it’s ok to give a little if the payoff is worth it. Keep in control of the conversation, don’t get taken advantage of and evaluate the validity of potential empty threats.
And remember, if all else fails there’s always Seymour’s way out.
As parents we look forward to being able to talk to our children and have them express their needs. With the ability to speak, the temper tantrums decrease. Frustrations with a misread nonverbal angry toddler lessen. My son, the worm summoner, had a pretty awful time with speech when he was younger. I said, “Can you say that again, please,” more times than I could keep up with. His speech issues hindered his ability to communicate to the point that he was having more tantrums and more frustrations than when not being able to speak at all. I had the “Mom-sense” to understand most of what he said, but strangers could not. He was unable to communicate effectively. He was a terrible communicator at no fault of his own.
Last week in RemanU’s “It’s More Than What You Say,” we discussed all of the wrong ways to communicate. Historically, I have not been a great verbal communicator. I have been passive at times, aggressive when I felt cornered, and even passive aggressive when all else failed. I didn’t like the way it felt, so I did something about it. I started reading books and articles on how to be a better communicator. I reflected upon myself after conversations that didn’t go well. I asked myself could I have approached the situation differently? Could I have said something more assertive? Maybe less aggressive? The answers were always yes. I have not yet mastered the art, but I have chosen to start the journey. Identifying and accepting a weakness is the first step towards becoming better.
Bad, or negative communication has the potential to leave the parties involved in the conversation with more questions than answers. At least one of those that partook in the interaction will be left with feelings of emptiness, regret, or the general anxiety caused by unresolved issues. On the opposite end of the spectrum, positive communication feels good. You close the conversation with a sense of completeness. Even if a final resolution isn’t reached, you have laid the foundation for future discussions. A productive exchange will allow thoughts, ideas and feelings to be expressed in a safe, mutually respectful environment.
I still remind myself daily what I have to do to go from a mediocre communicator to a master of conversation. I continue to make these skills a habit with the intent that in the future it will come as easy and thoughtless as taking a breath.
Skills to be a better communicator
Six years later and a round or two of speech therapy and my son speaks clear as day. We look back on videos from years ago and he doesn’t even know what he was saying. While he’s come a long way from physically not being able to communicate, I now battle with providing him the skills to be a good communicator.
Homework tonight: Read Mom’s article.
It’s that time of year in Wisconsin when you can feel Spring weather approaching. It’s still a bit chilly and the ground is wet. The robins are snatching up worms to take back to their nests. Yesterday my son, myself and all three cats watched as mama bird picked out the best slimy delicacies to return home with. This morning the road was just as damp, yet there were no birds and no worms. My son says to me, “Where are all the worms today?” Because I don’t know, and I don’t have a good answer I tell him to make up a worm call and see if it works. Of course what comes out of his mouth can only be described as an extremely loud shriek that had more chance of attracting the turkey vulture that was soaring overhead than the worms he sought. No worms surfaced as expected, yet instead of being disappointed he tells me that worms don’t have ears so they can’t hear anyways. Thankfully the bus showed up right on time.
As I trekked down the slippery hill it occurred to me that his failed attempt at worm communication wasn’t destined to fail. He just chose the wrong method. I don’t have a solution for him and I’m not going to search the web to find out how to summon worms. I am clearly not a worm expert. However, I am well versed in human communication. Here we will take a look at the forms of communication that are viewed as negative.
Negative Communication
The Passive Communicator
Your boss tells you that you need to stay an extra hour to catch up. You don’t want to stay late because you had plans to fix your car after work. You have to replace your radiator and have planned on getting it done this evening. Instead of telling your boss that you can’t stay late today, you change your plans and move the repair day to tomorrow.
A passive communicator will avoid conflict, lack confidence, speak quietly, seek approval and fail to express their own needs. Often they remain silent in meetings and appear easy going and shy.
How to manage passive communicators:
The Aggressive Communicator
Your teammate sold the wrong part for the application. The company has now lost money on freight costs, has an upset customer and product that is in limbo while it awaits return. You approach yelling at the teammate, “You idiot! What is your problem! Now I have to fix your mistake! Can’t you do anything right?”
An aggressive communicator will disregard the thoughts and feelings of others. They are generally seen as intimidating, speak loudly, and will personally attack or name call when trying to be heard. They will be persistent and dominate the conversation.
How to manage aggressive communicators:
The Passive-Aggressive Communicator
Your co-worker has fallen behind and asks for help with the workload. “{Sigh} Of course I will help, that’s what I do best, you can’t help it that you’re not as efficient as me.” After helping the co-worker you wander three cubicles over and tell another work mate just how frustrated you are and that the other person must be stupid.
Passive-aggressive communicators will seem outgoing, helpful and friendly. It is common that their tone of voice will not match their words. Misalignment is also evident in their body language and facial expressions.
How to manage Passive-aggressive communicators:
While the above communication styles are not ideal, they are better than no communication at all. I suggest that you keep your door open and continue to grow with and lead your teams to become confident, effective communicators.
I suppose tomorrow I will suggest a more assertive communication style to beckon the worms to the surface rather than the torturous howl.
Long before the days of posting positive affirmations on your Facebook page there was a little blue engine that thought she could. She wasn’t the strongest or the shiniest or the biggest. But what she lacked in experience and size, she made up for with determination and optimism. “I think I can, I think can, I think I can.” She was little, but mighty.
A month ago my son found a new love for ice skating. He went to a birthday party and even though he had never been on skates, he proved to be a natural. We were not yet out of the parking lot and he was already asking if we could come back the following weekend and if I would skate with him. I have not been on skates in decades. I assumed I would be spending more time sitting on the ice rather than gliding over it, however I agreed that I would give it a shot rather than watch him from the sidelines.
As the following Sunday approached, I was more and more nervous. I, like the little blue engine, am not the strongest. I am not coordinated and I am about as graceful as an elephant on a tightrope.
Ice skating day finally arrived. We walked in, got our skates and sat down to lace up. My mind was racing and my heart was pounding. As we approached the entrance to the rink, I said to myself, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” And then I did. It was slow at first and I stuck to the wall. As my confidence grew I ventured further and further from the side. A month later, I now only use the wall to stop. I am faster and more sure of myself. While I may not yet be intrepid, I have found a pace that is comfortable and kept my rump off the ice until yesterday. Lesson learned, do not play tag on the ice with the kids. Every time I get a little bit quicker, a little more graceful and a lot less scared.
I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could, and I did.
What power will it give you to accomplish the seemingly impossible? Can a simple mindset make a dauntless task less daunting?
How can you instill and promote the art of positive thinking?
A positive thought process can not guarantee success, however it makes achieving your milestones and overcoming complications more feasible. You might still falter, maybe even fall on your rump, but with a positive mindset you will be right back up.
Where’s my ice pack?
Two months ago, I got bored of the treadmill. I am not a runner, my legs are fairly short and honestly I just don’t like it. But, with it being winter in Wisconsin, my options for exercise were limited. So I took the plunge and ordered what I can only describe as the Hybrid from Hell. It is a cross between an elliptical and a stair stepper. It came with these fancy instructor led workouts. “I’m not fancy, I don’t need that, I’ll just watch a show or read a book”, I tell myself. I made it a measly fourteen minutes. It was brutal, and it was terrible, and I did it again the next day with the help of my new pre-recorded friend Jim.
It wasn’t that Jim is 8 years my senior that pushed me to the end of the thirty-four minute workout. It wasn’t that Jim really thought I could do it, he was totally rooting me on. It wasn’t even because I refuse to let this piece of equipment turn into a clothes rack. It was because of what Jim said. Jim said, “You get out what you put in.” I gave it my all, I could barely walk down the stairs when it was over and I was a sweaty mess. I did it again the next day, and the day after that. While I still refer to the machine as the Hybrid from Hell, it’s easier now. I can push myself harder and go longer. I put in the commitment and time. In return, I am stronger, less achy and have more confidence. I reaped the benefits of my efforts. I got out what I put in.
The amount of reward you get out of a situation depends on how much effort you put in doing the task. Think back to a time when you had a major test approaching. Did you study hard for days leading up to it? Or cram for an hour the night before? Chances are that if you put in the time to study the material you did better on the exam.
It’s been a long time since I have had to study for a test but I do go to work everyday. Everyone has those days when the motivation to go above and beyond just isn’t there. You are just trying to get through. But the days that I sit down early with my to-do list out and prepped, and the intent to get sh*t done are the days that I am most productive. I pour myself into projects, checking off task after task. I answer questions from co-workers at the speed of light. I solve even the most difficult problems as if they were nothing more than a first grade math equation. I put in 100% of me and my output is mind-blowing.
The people on our teams that simply tread water daily and barely meet the bare minimum are not go getters. They put in meager effort and in return the fruits of their labor are lacking. There is no satisfaction or accomplishment. There is no promotion or a “way to go champ”. They do not “Go All In.”
The technician that just barely beats book time. The builder that cuts corners but gets lucky. The customer service rep that plays on their phone in between calls instead of getting other work done or taking the opportunity to learn something. We see you. We know that it is only a matter of time before you quit or we ask you to leave.
What can we do when we identify a teammate that is just skating by?
Always reach for the stars. Put in 10x’s more than hope to get out. Your happiness is not based on what you get, but rather what you are willing to give. Sometimes there is an element of luck yet most often what you give is what is what you get.
On that note, I have a date with Jim.
Payday is great. But that deposit that hits my account weekly isn’t the only reason why I work where I work. I need security and appreciation. I need an environment that promotes growth and nurtures my natural talents. I need to feel like part of a team and I need to know that my voice will be heard. Lucky for me, I get all that and a paycheck.
A giant part of ETE is our culture. I may have mentioned that a time or two, but it never gets old for me. Transmissions aren’t sexy. Transfer cases don’t get the blood flowing. The building of the product is pretty much what you would expect from any successful company in the manufacturing industry (well maybe a little better). We aren’t a culture of drivetrain, we are a culture of the people. It’s what goes into those builds and the sales and support processes that make our company different. It’s our culture, from the top down, that fulfills my needs. Sure, I could snag a new gig almost anywhere, but I would feel empty and unconnected.
What happens when you have empty and unconnected employees? What do you get when your team feels like they are nothing but numbers? What happens when your people aren’t invested in anything more than that deposit hitting their account?
You cultivate an anti-culture. You have a group of clock-punchers. People that are only concerned with what directly benefits them. There is no buy-in to get better. No collaborations on improving the process. No stake in the game. You might have a group of people that get the job done but they aren’t happy, they will walk the second they get a better offer. They are dating you, not married to you.
I have been there, I have been that worker bee that came in, did my job and left exactly as the clock struck five. I walked in daily to glum faces that barely muttered a “hello”. The boss said nothing. All that I knew about these people, except for random pictures that hung in sparsely decorated cubicles were their names. Some, not even that. If I didn’t work side by side with you, you were a stranger in the halls. I had no connection, allegiance, or commitment to this job. I went on maternity leave and never came back.
How do you create a bond strong enough that your employees would easily promise, “till death do us part?”
By creating an environment that breeds friendship, communication, and connections, you won’t only have long term employees. You will have happy ones.
As I write I realize it’s only Monday, I suppose I’ll wait til that deposit hits. Mama needs a new pair of shoes.
If Dorothy and Toto would have followed the red brick road instead of the yellow, would they have made it to the Emerald City? What if Dorothy and Scarecrow veered to the left instead of taking the path on the right side of the big screen? Would there even have been a story if Toto wouldn’t have bitten mean old Mrs. Gulch? Our every action, reaction and choice determines where we end up. No, instead of yes. Up, instead of down. Staying put, instead of taking action. Our today is made up of all the seemingly small decisions that we have made along the journey from then until now. That timeline may be a lifetime, it may be the span of a phone call, but the choices that we make when they are presented have a lasting effect.
Consider it a snowball effect.You told the customer no and now they are no longer your customer. You pass up a promotion and it goes to someone less competent, but more confident than you. Not only do you regret it, but the whole company suffers. Maybe instead you took a chance, you jumped instead of standing on the ledge. You took a chance and plunged into something new that fulfilled you and made you happy and whole. You leapt and you took on new and different and scary responsibilities and you absolutely nailed it. All of these choices are made in a moment or two. You sometimes have seconds to decide between right and wrong, good and bad, stop or go.
I received a call yesterday, much like everyday, concerning a customer concession. I got the scoop, took two seconds and said “cover it”. It was a gut decision but I felt as if it was the right thing to do. It’s not life or death. I could have said let me review all the notes and get back to you. But I felt it. I felt like the answer was yes. I made the right choice for the right reason. I took the Yellow Brick Road. I didn’t skip and I didn’t sing, but it felt right and so yes was the chosen path.
How do you know when the choices you are making or the paths you are following are leading towards shiny emeralds and horses of a different color rather than terrifying flying monkeys and a field full of coma inducing poppies?
It’s possible they would have made it to the wizard by taking the other path, we will never know. What we do is that if you face your challenges head on, fill your tribe with like minded friends, and adapt to changes with brains and heart, you will awaken stronger and smarter. No matter which path your journey began with.