“Good employees don’t quit their job, they quit their manager.” 

This widely known idiom has found its way into leadership development courses with increasing popularity. While said with multiple variations, our very own Sam Loshaks version is my all time favorite. 

“Fish stink from the head.”

At the time I didn’t fully comprehend this “Samism”. We weren't discussing my performance, or that of another leader. It may have simply been a moment in time where I was blessed with being in the right place to have wisdom bestowed upon me. 

As time went on and I developed and grew my leadership skills, I began to understand the true meaning of both sentiments. If your leadership sucks, your employees will suck, your culture will suck and your whole organization will suck more than a Plecostomus.

I have been spoiled, maybe slightly blinded, by being fortunate to be with ETE for the past eleven years. Sam instilled in his fellow leaders how to be great and it trickled down, it still lives within us. 

My eyes were peeled wide open when I caught a glimpse into what my husband endures (rather we should say endured, not to blow the story). His direct boss was nowhere to be found hours on end. Messages would get read, but not responded to. Calls for help left unanswered but yet he was expected to jump in head first to fix another division's issue when beckoned. He struggled with hovering clinic managers he didn’t report to watching his every move. Upper management would arrive and the entire staff would tip toe around, fearful of doing or saying the wrong thing. Breathing wrong could get you a one way ticket to your superior's office.

Every morning he would head out of the door with a downtrodden, sullen vibe, mumbling, “Off to hell”. 

He loved what the job entailed, the patients, the trouble shooting, the problem solving, but management was destroying his passion. It was time to move on. 

While there is a long list of toxic management styles, here I will focus on the four that I witnessed destroying my better half. 

• The Ghost: Boss? What boss? This leader is very good at making themselves look good. They put on a show when their superior is in sight, yet hide behind the curtain when the real work needs to get done. You will find them doing anything other than helping their team, but they will take the credit for a job well done. 
• The Shadow: Every breath you take, and every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watchin' you. From the way you type to the way you sneeze, this leader is watching, documenting, criticizing every single thing you do. Even when following orders, adhering to process and procedure, you can be sure something you are doing will be nitpicked and corrected. They will always find a way to make you feel as if you are not hitting the mark, with the excuse of simply trying to make you better. 
• The Bully: This domineering commander will not just bully their employees but fellow leaders as well. The bully boss feels good by making others feel bad. Passive aggressiveness, outright inappropriate remarks, and wavering communication skills will leave you in wonder as to whether you are facing a wolf in sheeps clothing, or if you really have a leader you can trust at that moment. 
• The Nightmare: Imagine Freddy Krueger in business attire. This leader instills fear in its staff members. The crew walks on eggshells, never knowing when the clawed hand will strike. They fear public shaming, the silent treatment, or even being fired. You may have landed your dream job, but your boss's performance will leave you sleepless. 

Bryan no longer has to go to hell everyday. He was head hunted by a company in a similar industry that requires a person with his skill set. He is wanted, appreciated, and communicated with. It may only be day two, but hearing his new boss talk to him yesterday gave me all the feels. I sat and listened and mouthed the words, “I like this guy, he’s a real boss”. 

So here’s to a new chapter in our lives, one without bullies or nightmares. One that has great promise. Bryan didn't leave the job, he left the management.