I am one of those stubbornly independent, obstinate types. I can lift that. I can do this without help. No, I got it, thanks. Doctor? Why? It’ll heal. “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” I say!
Except, I can’t. I can’t do it all. I find myself inflicted with a semi-voluntary, temporary condition that requires help, dependence, and regular care from medical professionals, colleagues, and significant others alike.
Instead of making my way through the entire store to find what I need because I can, in fact, solve this logic puzzle, I really do need to ask the obligatorily helpful staff member where the thingy is because my feet hurt – a lot.
Instead of devising clever ways to prop and lift heavy bins and crates by myself because I can do it, I must, in fact, gather the aid of another for team lifts, or, heaven forbid, the directing of lifting and moving on my behalf.
At 12:30 AM one very early morning, awoken from a deep sleep with chest pains, I found myself on my couch being talked into going to the emergency room from triage nurse and significant other alike. That’s what you do when you have chest pains. You go to the ER. “It isn’t that bad. It will probably go away. It’s nothing,” I lied and lied to myself.
Being wheeled around in a hospital bed is the ultimate submission. It says, I do not have this. I need help. It’s scary and puts your life into perspective. I said weakly a couple of times, “You go home, get some sleep. I’m fine.” It fell on ears sick of my crap, and for once, I was really glad to be ignored, because as fine as I would have been lying in a very bright hospital room in the middle of the night by myself, it was a far superior experience with company.
Around 5 AM, I sent a blurry-eyed email to my team from my hospital bed informing them that it would probably be best if I didn’t go in to work that day. I wanted to, really, we had stuff to discuss at our meeting, and my to-do list? Long. But, no. It would probably be best for me and my co-inhabitant if I maybe just got some sleep. I guess. I mean, should I go in?
The choice was taken out of my hands: to do because I can do and therefore should do or not to do because, well, I can’t. I was liberated from my controlled independence for the very first time and semi-successfully in the hereafter.
Turns out, there are benefits to shrinking your bandwidth:

• Me Time. (You Time.)
  • Turns out when you can’t do it, you have more time. While I typically use that time to nap or zone out on Netflix, it’s a luxury to own the fact that you know what, maybe tomorrow when you have more energy to do your best… for now, this.
• Trust.
  • You didn’t trust someone else before to handle your things, but when you have to, you have to. It isn’t blind trust – it’s training and delegation and shifting of responsibilities and experience. Differentiation on a team is as much a strength as one powerhouse do-it-all-er.
• Reprioritization.
  • That mile-long to-do list is going to stay a mile long if you continue to attempt to do what you’ve always done and don’t reprioritize. Taking time to truly consider where your biggest impact lies, what projects you’ve been ignoring, or how to restructure what’s most important puts all the things into perspective – and perspective is freeing.

In six months’ time, my physical state will go back to a place of normalcy. I’ll be able to lift again and bound freely through the halls without waddling. My life, however, will never be the same. And my work habits? Much like all other aspects of myself, they should and shall continue to grow and develop. Me time might be a hot commodity, but learning to trust, train, and delegate? Reprioritizing tasks according to what’s most important? Lessons worth learning. Admit it: we each need help. And as it turns out, (*puts feet up*) it ain’t all bad.
 

 “Help,” isn’t a word usually heard from The Rhythm of Reman, an “if you want something done right, do it yourself” person. But recently Andee has had to change her tune, utter the word, and both accept and embrace all the help. And turns out it isn’t the worst. Comment below or connect with Andee directly.