Sometimes a late-night scroll is more inspiring than a late-night stroll. You come across something interesting, something that catches your eye, something that someone else is doing that makes you say, “If they can do it, why can’t I”. Maybe it’s a recipe that looks tasty, perhaps someone is crocheting a scarf, or some kid is a Rubik’s Cube master at 4 years old. You may not realize the work that goes into getting good at something when you happen to come across it by chance. It takes guts to become so confident that you can pick up a camera, record yourself and share it for the rest of the world. We generally assume we can do the thing, that it’s easy, just follow the instructions. But good doesn’t always come naturally, practice being better, before claiming to be good.

I have fallen victim to thinking that if I try, I will be good. And if I’m not good, and it doesn’t come easy, then maybe I just don’t really want to do it. I have been inspired, I have tried, and to my surprise I was not an instinctive crochet artist, or musician, stunt double, or even a chef. I began with a level of unearned confidence, and while that may have proven me slightly delusional, it was not a bad thing, it provided me the energy to keep trying, to stay consistent, and to remain vigilant in my practice. The crocheted hat two sizes too small, the band that never left the basement, and the meal that sat untouched were not failures, they were actually proof that I was trying, I was rehearsing and training, I would someday be ready for center stage.  Practice hasn’t made perfect, but it surely has made me better.

As a child I yearned to excel in the culinary field. The goal was not to become a chef at a five-star restaurant, but rather to be able to expand my competency beyond that of a grilled cheese sandwich. I remember my dad teaching me how to make the gooey delight when I was 13, at the time I thought I was witnessing a master at work. I spent my days perfecting the strategy, eating sandwich after sandwich, until I finally achieved greatness. My father, proud, yet likely disgusted at the amount of cheese I had consumed in a week said, “Dom, you can’t live off grilled cheese forever”. Eventually I realized that even though my coveted award-winning sandwich made me proud, it was time to step up my game and challenge myself with new methods and ingredients. I needed to start learning how to make other things, after more years than I care to admit, I got pretty good at cooking to survive but not very good at cooking to enjoy something. I wanted to be able to make a meal and utter, “wow that was something special”.      

I had gotten better but I was far from good.

Over the past few years I took up grilling, It’s more involved, requires skill, and is almost an art. Ensuring I have enough briquets, in the right pattern and at the right temperature is like driving a stick shift car, you’re more involved in the process, and one misstep can cause a burnt steak, or clutch.

I can assure you, I’ve done both.

I was pretty bad when I first started grilling. I’d routinely over cook the burgers, under cook the steak, never get the seasoning right, the chicken never quite left unsafe pink color needed for consumption. I had watched in awe as grill masters produced not just edible, but masterpieces, on the grill. I wanted to be the next pit boss, so I had no choice but to practice. This is where taking that unearned confidence and funneling it towards something pays dividend. I wanted to be a good cook, I wanted to be the “grill guy” and wear the cool/funny/slightly inappropriate apron, so that’s where I put all my energy, and money, and time. I finally feel it has paid off. I can stop worrying about getting good, I can start thinking about how to get even better.

Looking back, I was pretty terrible at the start, I avoided many food poisoning outbreaks amongst my buddies, but likely just barely. I had days of discouragement, but in those moments, I was able to find the determination to try again, and again, and again.

Cookout season is upon us. I’ll supply the brats and burgers, but the potato salad remains questionable.