Low fuel warning, low tire pressure, service engine soon, check engine light, the dreaded blinking check engine light. These are our vehicles’ brains telling us some things are not quite right. We can ignore it and put a piece of electrical tape over the troublesome light and hope for the best. Or we can fix it. Scan for codes. Diagnose and repair the issue. Fill up the tank or tire. Give the vehicle the attention it’s demanding. 

Just as our beloved, high mileage, well used automobile needs a little TLC at times, so do people. 

Our tanks run low, we misfire, sometimes we even develop an unsightly leak. The warning lights are flashing, we are sputtering along. Too often, we limp into bed and hope some rest will resolve our malfunctions. 

In both cases of cars and humans, dysfunction left too long will often cause catastrophic failures. 

I had a rough couple weeks. Stress, both good and bad, was quickly wearing me down. Kids sports, getting sicker than I’ve been in years, planning a baby shower for my adult daughter, the unexpected death of our family dog, and on top of that, attempting to be 100% at both work and at home. I was running on E. My skin was prickly, as was my overall mental health. I knew it. My team felt it. My family saw it. 

I needed to charge my battery, fill my tank, and address the glaring warning lights. Like a trusty old motor that is bound to explode without the proper maintenance, I was edging too close for comfort to final detonation. 

Rather than hide my woes, cover them up and ignore the symptoms (there was not enough electrical tape in the house to mask the warning lights), I allowed myself to be taken care of. While a week on a white sand beach, with unlimited pina coladas and daiquiris surely would have done the trick, it was not an option. I did, however, let the meeting get canceled. I took the sympathy from those I work with closely. I let my husband take me out to breakfast. I shopped, and decorated, and cleaned my old office up. I took the time to reset and refresh. 

As people, whether we are an official leader, an indispensable and priceless teammate, a parent or a spouse, sometimes we just need a tune up. 

Regardless of our roles, what can we do to ensure that ourselves and those we work and live with have the opportunity to rebuild and refresh?

We All See it: As a leader it’s expected to put your mask on, suck it up, and act as if all cylinders are firing. But we all see it. The stress is palpable. The conversations are strained. Hiding behind a curtain of false bliss is a facade that can only be maintained for so long. Save the “I’m Fine” act for the customers. Take the time to yourself to get quiet work done. Close the office door and just focus on what you can do. 

Like the neighbor with an exhaust leak, there is no hiding that something isn’t quite right. No matter how slow the acceleration, or subtle the sound, we all hear it. Offer a hand, or just an ear. Acknowledge the noise and be there to help, but be prepared to insert ear plugs and go back in the house. 

It Won’t Fix Itself: Sure a few drive cycles may clear the evap code if it really is just the gas cap. But you can’t find a solution if you don’t discover the problem. As an individual, have the self awareness to know when you can’t just keep chugging along. 

Call the Tow Truck: STOP! When the day or the week is over and the work is done, STOP! Take the time to refill, refresh, and provide service to your components that are demanding attention. Running the tires bald or letting the tank hit empty, disregarding the oil light or neglecting the rattle from the engine will only leave you stranded. 

Allow your people, yourself and your teammates the time to repair themselves. Whether it be a PTO day for mental health, a day of just getting by, or a weekend without a work related email or text, we all need a little time in the shop. 

As this week begins, I am in a significantly better position. The cough lingers, there is more football on the horizon. I am stationed in my cleaned-up, new office, and the halloween decor is plentiful. I am still haunted by the departure of sweet Daisy-Mae, and the baby shower to-do list won’t do it self. After a weekend of self-care and recovery, however, I have a positive outlook, more motivation, and a full tank of gas.

It’s ok to choose yourself sometimes, you can’t take care of others, if you aren’t taking care of yourself.