Banner ads, T.V. commercials, email blasts, subtle hints from your significant other, are not so subtly reminding you that Valentine’s Day is approaching quickly. Pull out the credit card and be prepared to smother the one you love with lavish, extravagant and luxurious gifts and mementos of your undying love. Buy the bigger diamond, book the expensive dinner reservation, a dozen roses are never enough, get three.

But what if your person thinks that the four karat rock is gaudy? What if the steak is chewy and overcooked, or radiates a putrid tangy, rancid odor upon delivery? What if the floral arrangement elicits an allergic reaction filled with sneezes and a face full of hives? 

A hungry, sticky, swollen, disappointed partner is a far cry from the sexy companion you planned on spending the evening with. Fancy backfired. Take your mate home, pop a cork, and snuggle up with snacks. 

Regardless of price, product, or intention, a luxury item or experience becomes bargain bin junk when it fails to fulfil the projected promise of opulence. 

Last week, Neen James, author of Exceptional Experiences, honored us by sharing an hour of her time to discuss the principles highlighted in her book. She talks her readers through guidelines on how to create exceptionality that transforms the customer/company relationship, and how building a brand that makes people feel special promises return clients and increased revenue. 

I initially struggled personally connecting with the reading. I am not affluent. I don’t own luxury products. I don’t stay at five star resorts and sip expensive wine. My version of fancy is upgrading from cans to bottles when I sip beers in my garage while donning sweats, a pony tail and firing up the grill. V-day 2026 is going to be fantastic. 

At some point, I was able to put aside the context and focus on the message. Heck, I was on a flight to the most magical place on earth. My version of luxury was a value resort in the heart of my favorite place, comfy tennis shoes, and the certainty that I was going to be treated like a distant twice removed member of the royal family.

Exceptionalism and luxury is not found in the tactile entity that one can purchase, obtain, or  covet. Sure, red soled heels, or a high end hood ornament provide an air of eliteness but it’s really the emotions induced by the security, importance, and significance that a product, service, or company creates that allows for that feeling of specialness.

How do companies that provide essential, yet unalluring products and services instill a sense of exceptionalism that customers covet? 

Brand Specialization: Defining your niche in your local market allows you to become the neighborhood expert. Potential customers seek out businesses that promise to be the best, the most knowledgeable, and focus on the problem they need solved. In moving from a generalized to a more specific business model you will find power in focused marketing, attracting customers that are willing to invest in an expert, increasing your profit margins. 

Customer Centric: Create a “customer first” business model by putting the customer at the center of all decisions, strategies, and operational processes. Take the time to get to know your customers’ likes, needs, wants, and turn-offs. Allow your customer facing teams the autonomy to do the right thing for the right reasons, even if it does bend the standard policy. Instill within the organization that the customer is not just a potential sale, they are a future partner. When you stop selling, and start talking, the sales sell themselves. 

Air of Exclusivity: It’s not plausible as a larger company to greet each and every customer by name, ask about their pets, and how Susie is doing in college. It is however important to make them feel special in a less personalized way. Exclusive discounts or access, belonging as an incentivized customer subset, or even a simple anniversary acknowledgment goes a long way in solidifying and personalizing the customer relationship creating a value and connection about and beyond the product itself. 

Customers want spectacular. They yearn for extraordinary service, they unconsciously dream of gold star, top notch buying opportunities. Give it to them, and your relationships will transform and become more stable than the couple whisking off to white sandy beaches this Valentine’s Day. 

Whatever you fancy this holiday weekend, acknowledge the moments that astonish and amaze, someone is likely trying to win you over.